Just because it says it is a duck does not mean it is a duck

Just because it says it is a duck does not mean it is a duck

So a friend on FB (his name is John) posted a blog entry about a group of people calling themselves “Christians for a Moral America”. 

This is the definition of moral:

a : of or relating to principles of right and wrong in behavior :ethical <moral judgments>b : expressing or teaching a conception of right behavior <amoral poem>c : conforming to a standard of right behaviord : sanctioned by or operative on one’s conscience or ethical judgment <a moral obligation>e : capable of right and wrong action <a moral agent>

I looked at the twitter entries Keith(that’s the dude’s name) placed about George Micheal and praying for his death, and I have come to this conclusion:

That word,moral, I do not think it means what they believe it means. Yes I just butchered Princess Bride. Anyway, if we take the base idea of “moral” and apply it to the way Keith and his illadvised flock act, we would find that these two things would be far from each other. How far? As far as the east is from the west(yes I just got all biblical). 

I do not care what religion a person follows, but when they start going on and on about how we need to pray for “this” person to die and “that” person to die, someone needs to call them on it. I mean like go off on them with huge words, scriptures, and show them the REALLY REALLY large house in their eye while they are looking for an invisible speck in George Micheal’s. 

And what makes it even worse is that they are saying that the guy has AIDS. Okay, let’s back up a minute and realize something about HIV/AIDS:

Not every gay man has it

Not every black person has it

Heck, it isn’t even a death sentence anymore. You still die, but you won’t look like the walking dead. 

Did I mention they are working on a cure?

Anyway, so here we have some god-botherers on twitter saying “Pray for his death so he can roast in hell!!” and “I heard he has AIDS. You know that’s part and parcel of what “they” do”.

This is not even one iota close to the Christianity I loved as a kid. Heck, it’s not even close to the Christianity I research as an adult. This is what happens when you have a bitter, hate-filled person with a narcissist streak and no compassion. I don’t know if this man is a self-hating gay or if he just wants to feel better than everyone else but I do know this is disgusting. It is disgusting in the way that some people would take what this asong babae seriously and go and murder gay people or people who are percieved to be gay. 

All under the banner of Christianity. If I were Jesus(which I am not, thank Odin), I would personally visit Keith and his members. Then as they freak out that I am a little Jewish man, I’d pimp slap them so hard that their teeth would play like piano keys. After I got the slap in, I’d sit them down and explain quite calmly that they either need to take a really good look at themselves in the mirror. Because if life was ANYTHING like Dance in the Vampire Bund, their true selves would be nothing but steaming piles of excrement. 

But life is not like an anime, but there is a life where people can call people out on being douches. And if these people from “Christians for a Moral America” had any backbone, and were not simpering cowards hiding behind the anominimity of the internet, they’d listen and possibly change their ways. But they won’t because Jeebus is on their side. This same Jeebus, who last time I checked, did not say jack shit about being gay. That was all Paul. Who I strongly suggest was a closet case/spiteful little prick. 

I’m not saying they aren’t Christians. That isn’t my job. I am not playing on their team. But I can say that they are the worst representatives for Christ that I have seen thus far. These Christo-fascists are addicted to the idea of being persecuted but without the real work of being a good person. I have an idea. Let’s drop them in the middle of Zambia and just leave them there. Or maybe leave them in Watts wearing either all blue or all red. 

But I am doing one better. I am posting their page on the group Wipeout Homophobia on Facebook page, and asking them to help me shut it down. 

 

Their page:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Christians-For-A-Moral-America-CFAMA/283163705049710

If you could shut them down(legally) I’d be sehr happi!

 

Eggs

I wonder

It’s Samhain, or as we American folks call it, Halloween. I’ve been listening to various artists. One artist in particular I come back to: jennifer knapp.

She’s a Christian artist who was really big in the 90′s, and ended up disappearing out of nowhere. We find later that she left and moved to Australia. If you said wtf, then join the group.

Anyway, she met a nice girl, and decided to come out of the closet. I of course “knew” it(more like wishing really hard) and was all yay for her.

Well, her very fundy fans were NOT happy. Apparently being a lesbian and Christian doesn’t work.

A thought, just a thought:

What if it’s none of your business folks?! She’s in love, isn’t being beat to death, and is being honest to herself and her God.

I mean, if a fundy’s god is that small minded, then something is VERY wrong. I won’t take “you don’t know god’s ways”. That is a cop out and you know it. If he created her, then maybe, just maybe he knows.

Or maybe the idea of sexuality being something you can’t really box scares these folks.
It scared me, a lot. I was taught that my sexuality was not for ME. It was for the man I’d marry or convince myself that he loved me. I was a person that sexual acts were to be done TO, not to initiate. The shame that’s packed into a survivor’s body is enough to light a town. Couple that with the mixed signals one gets in youth church or at single’s conferences and you get a person who feels more like an object that a vibrant person.

And I feel, that it’s what they want us to feel like. It’s easier to debase yourself like a dog when you are told that your container…your body is dirty. It’s easier to depersonalize yourself when the emphasis in on the next life. This one is garbage!

And now, I look at Jennifer Knapp and wonder how she functions. What I mentioned is my own life, and I have to remind myself to breathe at times. I was so used to being an object, so very used to thinking my very normal desires were more kinky than age play…that the mere idea of someone desiring me sickened me.

I wanted intimacy, yet was poisoned against it. I was told to fear the male gaze. To assume that only teh PERFACT man of gawd could love and accept this broken effed up woman…made me my own enemy.

I feel angry, sorrowful, and retarded. I mean it in the fullest since of the word. I am a woman who was in arrested development for many years, and am only now trying to play catch up.

My innocence was stolen twice: first by my molesters, then by the very people I entrusted with my soul. I feel shipwrecked. And yet I can hear my mother’s own voice blaming me. Saying she warned me and that I deserved it.

I wonder if other refugees from fundamentalism feel this way. Just disjointed and envious of those who didn’t go through Jesus camp like training? Or do they never crack?

I wonder

This is about bad women

Hi Again Minions,

I know I got a bit winded on the rant, but it needed to be said. Anyway, I feel like I need to balance out my ranting. Because I have heard girls scream about why are there so many “douchebags” out there.

“I’m a good woman!” they cry out…

And most times they are, but other times I want to just pimp slap them and say NO YOU ARE NOT.

And here’s why:

Sleeping with a guy’s friends is not sexy or cool. It’s SKANKY.

- If you suffer from the “whatever” syndrome, you aren’t a good woman. You need to know what you like, what you do not like, and what you can “whatever” on. You like fish? Eat it. Don’t like fish? THEN DO NOT EAT IT.

- If you just “receive” actions, you are only a few steps from being a receptacle. And when a receptacle is broken or overfilled, there is only ONE thing to do to it: throw it away.

- Back to the receiving thing. It isn’t wrong to receive or want nice things. It is wrong when you expect your guy to foot the bill and he can barely rub two pennies together. Either get it yourself or rethink what you’re doing.

- Also, if you over give, you’re telling the guy “My love is nothing on its own.” Over giving causes the man to be complacent, you to stress about finances, and the debt collectors HAPPY.

- If you are dating a guy just because you do not want to be alone, do me and the guy a favor: dump him and find a hobby group.

- If you are with a guy just because the sex is “GREAT”, let me suggest something: get a damn vibrator. No penis is worth the headache. And while sex in a healthy relationship is key, if that is all there is, you are not dating. You are FUCK BUDDIES.

- Going into relationship thinking you can change a guy into the perfect guy? Stop while you are the fuck ahead. If you change him, he’s perfect alright. For another woman.

- Cheating on a guy because he cheated on you is not smart. It’s very stupid. 1) You get exposed to even more STDs and 2) You are on the same level as him…which is the corn that is found in feces.

- Finding yourself while dating someone is scary, but good. Shaping you to fit a guy? Very bad.

- Calling a guy ten thousand times a day? That’s not dating. That’s being a damn stalker.

- Trapping a guy into marriage via “oopsie” pregnancy? He will resent you and the baby.

- Not taking a man seriously when he says something about himself is dangerous. I have too many stories of me doing that. One even ended with a twisted arm.

- When a man says he doesn’t deserve you, don’t try and prove him wrong. Don’t lessen YOUR shine because he’s intimidated by you.

- If a man is intimidated by you, he will try to break you. That’s wrong. But when you are broken to the point where you are hitting yourself in the head with a hammer saying NO! NO! I CAN BE BETTER!? Just start planning for your tombstone because you have effectively died.

- Refusing to date a man because he’s too “high-brow” or “seems gay” is not you “keeping it real”. It’s you deterring yourself from happiness by way of refusing to sample “difference”. I’m not saying run after vatos, but honestly, if a guy who likes sailing thinks you are a hottie, just try it.

- It’s called DATING, not marriage. If you feel like you are getting serious in month two, wait a while. It’s the hormones.

- If you can look at the guy while he’s sleeping and not want to put a pillow over his head ONCE….readjust your meds

- If you expect relationships to be “me, me, me” then you are on a great start to becoming a me-ogomist.

- Compromise is NOT a dirty word. I can’t play Farmville all day (I wish I could…) and the boyfriend can’t play Magic all day. There has to be something going on.

- If you have to beg your guy to take you on a date, he’s already assumed you are not worth it. LEAVE. Not try to sing “stranger in my house”. Just freaking leave.

And my favorite: staying with a guy just because your financial outlook will improve? That doesn’t make you smart it makes you a hooker.

This is about evil bastards

So, I was on twitter, being a twit, when someone posted a quote. It goes like this:

“Girls do not want nice guys, girls just want the douchebags.”

Here is something I’ve noticed. Guys who complain about girls not wanting “nice guys” usually have the problem of “but it’s not a douche when I do it”. And baby let me tell you, oh yes it is.

Telling a girl that you really like her and that you two hit it off is sweet. But doing that then screwing her best friend right after you dropped her off (the first girl, not the best friend)….that’s a douche move.

Telling two girls within five minutes of each other that you love “Only them” and to “Not to tell the other one” is a douche move.

Slapping your girlfriend in public is abusive, but then telling her friends it was HER that was the abusive one? Yeah. You’re a douche.

Whining about not finding a good girl in your state, but then turning down another girl because she’s “too far”, then getting testy with her because she moved on and got a boyfriend? THAT IS VERY douche-like behavior compadre.

Whining about not finding a “good girl”, but you refuse to leave the house, stated to your best male friend (who has a girlfriend of own but she’s. BLACK) that you rather be with your “own kind” than be with a geeky girl who may or may not have a “big ass” and Hispanic or whatever. That’s not only douchy but closed-minded and I cannot understand nor fathom why you are so close. That is how douchy it is

Calling a girl “bitter” when she opens up about her abusive ex.

Telling said girl that maybe “she did something to warrant it”
Telling any woman to “get over” being sexually assaulted
Laughing at a girl who just got the courage up to ask YOU out.

Telling a girl she’s perfect BUT she’s the wrong

-race
-size
-ethnicity
-subgroup
Accusing all attractive women of being gold-digging whores when you ask them out and they either say very kindly, “I’m flattered, but no thank you.”
Referring to all of your exes as either whores or skanks.

And my favorite? Having an impossible list of expectations for a girlfriend, and dumping her ass if she fails on just ONE of the items. No, not like “don’t be a cheating whore”, I mean things like “DO NOT GAIN WEIGHT” or “She was being uppity”. Uppity how? By actually telling you “no”?

What we have here is an epidemic of douches in kind men’s clothing. They walk the same, talk the same, but it isn’t until you get behind closed doors that you can tell the difference. This is the guy who cries on a dime if you try to dump him because he was verbally abusive but then dumps YOU because he “Wanted to beat you to the punch first”.
This man will sit on his ass and spend your hard earned money, yet if you ask him for a loan, he calls you a gold-digger.
This guy suffers from BBD syndrome, the bigger better deal. If you seem like the best, he will woo you, and then out of nowhere, kick you out of your own house to fuck your little sister.
These are not “nice guys”. These are man-children who will never, EVER grow up. These are the men who fill the “men’s rights” groups, treat their daughters like chattel, and demand that their more intelligent mate stays home because “he’s the man”.
No, he’s a chump and you should run as far away from him as possible. You will be doing yourself and your future descendants a favor.

Emergency

Folks, I need you to do me a favor. My best friend Lorrie is having a shit-tastic day:

-Her husband was put on disability because of the possibility of him having uncontrolable diabetes

-Her oldest daughter had not one, but two seizures today. The first one caused her to knock the fuck out and require stitches. As they were about to release her, she had a second one.

Lorrie is a really really good woman. She’s kind and ALWAYS has been there for me…

And I am in BFE.

So this is where you come in: I want you guys to send her well wishes and do what your faith(or lack of) requires of you. She’s a good woman being fucked in the ass by life.

Thanks.

This is her facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=591579749

This is her Blog:

http://lorrie28-mothergamer.blogspot.com/

 

Thanks Guys…

Beauty

So, with the therapy and weight loss, a few issues have come across my plate(see what I did there?). The first thing is my self image. If you ask any of my friends, I am cute. I of course think these people are INSANE. So them telling me over and over how much they loved me, how much they liked me,or how cute(adorable) I was fell on deaf ears.

It took me seeing it myself. I lie, it took a REALLY hot lesbian to drive it home.

See what had happen was(here she goes again) I have an awesome friend. Her name is Lor. Lor is possibly a superhero or saint and she just isn’t telling us weaker humans for fear that our tiny heads would explode. Anyway, a long time ago, Lor was dating Mari. And Mari, is a goddess. I mean, like cause guys to to drool and totally make fools of themselves type of woman. Let me put it to you this way:

She was the daydream I had of the “perfect woman” in high school that I said would never EVER exist in real life so therefore I was stuck with MEN. So! I found out she existed(yay!) but she lived in England(..yay?) and had a very very beautiful girlfriend(um..I’ll get back to you on that). So rightfully I thought to myself “No chance in hell”. And I was right.

But, BUT my fair folk…she thought me(yes me) was just so adorable she could eat me up(yes I did that on purpose). My boyfriend found out, and teased me(but he was all for it) about my obvious crush.

So it was like a kick in the back of the knees. I thought to myself “If she finds me attractive, maybe I should look at myself and see what I find beautiful about myself”. First day, I sat in my room with a notebook in my lap and just writing about what I liked about me. Which took forever. Day two, I looked in the mirror to really look at me. Not judge myself, not make a list of things that need to be covered up with makeup…but just look. I started bawling, quite hard actually. All I could think of was all the horrible things told me about myself. How I wouldn’t amount to anything, I was just good for a grope and a goodbye, or how I was the girl all guys only dated because no one would ever be serious about me, ever. And yes, those things I just said were said to me by people who supposedly had my best interests at heart.

So I started thinking about how what was said to me affected how I saw myself. And I found that I didn’t have any ideas on what I thought of myself. Everything that was said to me was just regurgitated into my brain by another person. I know I was supposed to go on and talk about how someone saved me, but the truth is..I saved myself. Yes Mari was the catalyst but I saw it through. Yes, focusing on me and building myself up is hard. I am so used to building up others and pining for someone to do the same for me that it becomes a battle of  old vs. new. Do I get tired of having to be my own “best friend”? Yes, but this is how I see it. The girl I am now, she’s not forged in a crowd. She’s made in the shadows of the night when I am holding on to my penguin and weeping. She’s the woman who recites the people who love her as if they were prayers, because in a way they are.

She’s me,someone I can’t get away from.

What is going on, Eggs?

I had the most perfect thing tot alk about, but I just realized that my brain can only hold so many thoughts at once when I forget my vyvanse. So you’ll just have to deal with me like this.

I stayed away from my blogs because I really thought I needed to get my ish together. At least to where I could talk to everyone and not feel like I was running around naked while on roofies. What I mean is, if I was going to be naked as  a jaybird, I want to be able to not second guess myself. The two people who read this blog deserve that much.

So! The news. I’ve been seeing a therapist, and it actually does help. Granted, I think I make him feel pretty uncomfortable at times, but it is what it is, right? Right. Also, I’ve lost nearly 70 pounds(woo) and I’m itching to lose more.

I’m not going to make any pie crust promises, but I am going to let it hang all out.

The no-so triumphant return

So, I’m finally well enough to type(barely). I feel like I fought a prison gang with just a rusty spoon while they has shanks.

Yet all I have to prove my surgery are four scars and this thing:

http://glittercoveredmokona.tumblr.com/

That is what happens when no adults around. I get WEIRD.

I’m not dead YET(smack)

Sorry I haven’t been writing/ranting.

I was feeling rundown and just thought I was depressed. Nope! My gallbladder was just infected(oops).

So i go in for surgery next week. Until then I’m on a steady stream of antibiotics and lortab.

And you guys will have to deal with my loopy butt

Thanks for being awesome,

Allmyeggs

Frustration

I know I have not written in ages. Im going to fix that.

Again, sorry