Monday, yet again.

Standard

Hello my people! I’m sorry I was away from so long. Actually, no I am not. I needed to breathe and do stuff.

And not a moment too soon, I think.

 

It’s the first week of advent, and I’m already about to facepalm. Before I lose you guys, let me explain. In detail.

Okay. As some of you know, I am a bit commenter in groups on Facebook. One of them is my favorite: SCCL. SCCL is best explained as a safe place for folks who drank too much of the kool-aid. That being said, no one is perfect. But they are genuine. And that is why I love these folks.

Last week, a man posted on SCCL asking why women do not read his blog. And it only got worse from there.

LSS:

SCCL thought she was blocked from responding. TJ said she wasn’t. At this time it’s just he said/she said. Easy enough to solve right? Well, no. It went on and on to the point where TJ was being an unabashed ass and hurt some feelings.

At this time, I am drinking some warm tea. I know nothing about this because I am dealing with the new life of a homeowner.

Today, I hop onto facebook and talk to buddies. Some are pretty upset. I am confused as to what is going on, and read today’s blog by TJ.

It wasn’t really a blog entry, more of a frustrated clanging of words. He spoke of how “giving someone the benefit of the doubt” should be a Christian virtue. At first I am like “Hell yeah!”.

Then I did some thinking.

To just give the benefit of the doubt all the time can cause problems. Huge ones.

I get acussed of things. I get confused

He gets beligerant.

I get really confused.

Then I read what transpired last week.

I snapped.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/tonyjones/2012/12/03/benefit-of-the-doubt-a-christian-virtue/#comment-50010

I’m not proud of what happened, but sometimes just explaining into detail “It’s not all about you” does help. At least it helped me.

And yes, going off on a stranger isn’t that great. But at least I am learning that some people really are just douchebags wearing crosses.

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About All My Eggs

I'm weird. Really weird. And I tend to talk about things that interest me. That being religion, education,sex-related bits, and family. I talk about myself and my journey to disbelief also. Hense the name All my Eggs.

6 responses »

  1. I think what happens is we’re supposed to live in a world where people are humble and respond to others’ humility with grace when there’s conflict. But then there are wolves among the sheep who exploit others’ humility and force us to put our defenses up when the whole point of living in a community of atonement was to have a safe space of vulnerability. I can’t speak to what happened to you. It made me sick and angry to read about it. I don’t want this to come across like I’m saying “but…” or moving dismissively past it. Here’s the question: do you think the violence that you suffered causes you to superimpose the douche-baggedness you have encountered onto other white guys who might not be total douche bags even though our privilege likely makes us at least partial douche bags most of the time? I just feel like I’ve had people go off on me for being the proverbial douchy white guy, and after the sting of being accused of being the type of person I hate and have spent my whole life trying to subvert and escape, I scrutinize what I said or did and can’t figure out what I could have said or done differently. I couldn’t figure out what the hell was going on in either of the threads with the person you’re talking about, so I have no idea if my conjecture is relevant to this specific situation or not.

    • Well no. I’ll say this as nicely as possible:

      – tony is a douche

      – his being white has nothing to do with it. He’s just a douche

      – I find in the case of men, it’s literally case by case. Most white men are sweet.

      I love my guy(Daniel). He admits he doesn’t know how it is on my side. But he listens. And that makes him awesome.

      In the case of in general, I find it easier to just listen…but not today. Sorry, I’m on my iPad so I can’t really type as well as I want

      • That’s cool. I don’t really know Tony on a personal level or even really the context of the blogosphere conversation. I do believe generally in giving others the benefit of the doubt (even though I often don’t do this in practice) as a tactic for bringing dignity into the conversation regardless of whether or not it’s merited. I don’t think you have to be naive or let yourself get steamrolled to do this. Jesus says something like be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. I’m not very good at it; I’m usually either a doormat or I overcompensate by putting a huge chip on the shoulders.

  2. I’ve had to stop reading Tony, but I keep getting pulled back into this conversation. He’s just… so completely unaware of his own privilege, and so willfully obtuse.

    Also, Hi!

    ~ Gabe

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