Let your fingers do the talking


Guys and Girls..okay Girls mostly, I want to talk to you about female masturbation.

*taps on screen* You still there with me? Alright, good.

I have noticed something, that even among the more sexually “liberal” women, there isn’t much talk about masturbation. Self pleasure if you will. I mean, there are some women who talk about it, but let’s be honest. What is the first thing that possibly pops in your mind when one of your female friends say “I had the house all to myself last night, so I brought out the sybian and rode it like no tomorrow!”.

You’d  probably think to yourself: ‘Dear God, why did she tell me that?! That’s Disgusting!’ or ‘I don’t know why she had to wait be by herself. Is she having problems in her relationship with________?’

And while those responses are legitimate because they’re in YOUR head, they reek of  some antiquated notions. The first being that self-love(or self-lust for some of my hotter readers) is disgusting. And why is that? Could it be that the girl, when masturbating, is touching herself while making a mud pie?

No, not really.

Maybe, it’s because she didn’t wash the cucumber that she used to limber herself up.

Wrong again.

Alright, I get it. It’s because we women are taught from a young age that only “Dirty Girls” do, and that to even admit that you do, throws you in the realm of the Whore(despite the fact you may or may not have had partnered sex with more than one person in your life, or if you did..did not get paid for it)?


That idea, coupled with the lie that women just are not as into sex as men, has caused many a girl/woman to feel guilt for touching themselves in a manner that brings pleasure. And if they do it more than once a month, they wonder if they have a sexual disorder.

Well let me assure you, you do  not.

Unless it’s a compulsion to do so, but that is a different discussion.

So back to the roughing up of the bearded clam.

Girls, it’s not a slippery slope to hell or whoredom. If anything, it’s just one more way of getting to know yourself better. What girl would want to go through life not knowing something that valuable about themselves?

Well at one time, I did. I was under the delusion(yes, delusion) that if I kept myself TOTALLY pure(i.e. no touchy touchy the self included) that I would be rewarded with a sexually intelligent male sometime in the future(you know I was going to tie my faith in didn’t you?).

Well, it didn’t work. As a teen, one can only be so turned on for periods of time and not need either to touch themselves or take a cold shower.

And one can only listen to WOW hits 1997 until it just becomes background music for self exploration.

So I masturbated. And I still do.

Of course I have lingering fears of talking about it to folks, but don’t all humans?

*someone taps me on the shoulder to tell me to get on with it already*

Okay, okay..

‘But what about those who are in relationships that masturbate?’, you think to yourself. ‘Surely there is something wrong with them?’

Not really. A person’s sex drive will continue on, with or without their loved one. And well, you gotta take care of yours as they (I can assuredly say) they take care of theirs. And let’s be real: what guy/girl wouldn’t think it’s hot that his girlfriend/wife pleases herself(especially if a thought about them brought it on!).

So women, crook your fingers and play “find the pearl”.

It’ll be a rewarding venture, let me tell you!

Links on Female Masturbation:





About All My Eggs

I'm weird. Really weird. And I tend to talk about things that interest me. That being religion, education,sex-related bits, and family. I talk about myself and my journey to disbelief also. Hense the name All my Eggs.

2 responses »

  1. I know, its so true! Double standard. Its almost expected that a guy will masturbate but if a woman even touches below her belly button she is labeled a Jezebel.

    I masturbate. Not too often but I do. I mean…what do you expect me to go 6+ months when Paul is on deployments with no satisfaction? Would you rather me go out and find pleasure in another man? Alright then….lol hush up! I was 20 before I started. It was actually Paul’s first deployment that allowed that situation to come up. I was so naive about such things that I asked a friend ( J.) and she took me to a sex store in Shreveport. I had no clue and was so embarrassed to even be in the store. She showed me what she used ( a bullet ) so thats what I got. Let me tell you….WOW! Now let me tell you whats amazing is using a small vibrator WHILE you are having sex. Some positions are easier to use it with but it makes a HUGE difference. I have upgraded from my simple AA operated bullet to a Hitachi Magic Wand. It plugs into the wall!! ZOMG!!! It was a gift from Paul.

  2. I am so jealous! I want a hitachi wand but I am afraid the sheer force would cause me to catapult into the stratisphere.

    I have a toy chest because I only see Dan once a month(until I leave for good). And it’s soooooo helpful. That’s why I have such a smile on my face! lol

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